Is The Word “So” Ruining Your Life?

doodle-918-so(Fast Company) HOW A POPULAR TWO-LETTER WORD IS UNDERMINING YOUR CREDIBILITY

IS THIS COMMON TENDENCY IN BUSINESS DIALOGUE UNDERMINING YOUR MESSAGE? HERE ARE THREE REASONS IT MIGHT BE.

BY HUNTER THURMAN

You’re at an industry conference making small talk. The discussion invariably turns from “who you know” to “what you do.”

Your brow furrows, you cock your head slightly, and you launch into the elevator pitch:

“So, we’re building a multi-channel platform that leverages…”

“So, I’m the global brand director for our portfolio of…”

“So, I recently exited my startup when we sold to…”

The part of this lead-in that seams the least important but actually dramatically frames your message is that first little word: “so.”

Everyone–from CMOs to flip-flop-clad “brogrammers”–does it. It’s like the technorati’s way of starting a sentence with “like.” However, it’s much more than that.

It’s actually a damaging tendency. Beginning your sentence with “so” orients your message and subconsciously alerts your audience that what you’re about to say is different than what you’ve been talking about up until this point.

We business-types need to drop the “so” for three main reasons:

1. “SO” INSULTS YOUR AUDIENCE

That little head cock, slight furrowing of the brow, and set-up with “so” says to your audience, “I’m trying to dumb this down so someone like you may have at least a chance of comprehending the importance of what I do.”

The person with whom you’re talking won’t call you on it, because he won’t even consciously recognize it. But the convention we’ve all created around “so” will register subconsciously, and the damage will be done.

2. “SO” UNDERMINES YOUR CREDIBILITY

The “so” setup also announces: here comes the rehearsed part of my discussion.

It’s like a poker player’s tell that announces to your audience that they’re about to get pitched. This one is easier to observe than the insult I talked about above–just walk up to the first peer you encounter and ask him what he’s working on.

He’ll follow with, “So, I’m optimizing our UI to better convert… ”

It’s obvious that you just heard his “public” version of his current workload. The more honest answer might be something like, “I’m trying to figure out where one f-ing period is jagging up all this code… ”

3. “SO” DEMONSTRATES THAT YOU’RE NOT 100% COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.

Just as the “so” setup announces that this portion of the conversation will be very deliberate, it also demonstrates that you’re not as comfortable with your story as you think you are.

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