(Telegraph) Women betrayed by love and men by sex
Women feel more betrayed if their partner falls in love with someone else than if he is simply unfaithful, claims a new study. Men feel more let down by a partner’s sexual indiscretions.
Researchers believe the two opposing views about what would do the most damage to a relationship could explain why marriages break down so often.
Previous research has suggested a similar trend and the prevailing theory was the difference has evolutionary origins.
Men learned over thousands of years to be hyper-vigilant about sex because they can never be absolutely certain they are the father of a child – while women are much more concerned about having a partner who is committed to raising a family.
But the new research suggests it is much more to do with how secure men and women feel in relationships. While men hide their insecurity by remaining independent and concentrating on sex, women enter more deeply into relationships, putting more store in emotional connection.
The study suggests women are stronger mentally.
Men fret about unfaithful wives because they are obsessed by the sexual side of their relationships — a superficiality linked to their thin personal attachments.
In other words male jealousy is shaped by deep emotional insecurities, say psychologists Dr Kenneth Levy and Dr Kristen Kelly of Pennsylvania State University.
Also see Are Boys Really Better at Math?, Do Men and Women Cope with Stress Differently?, Do Men in Relationships Convince Themselves that Other Fertile Women Aren’t that Hot Anyway? and Can You Sue Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection?